Abandoned. Rejected. Ridiculed. Humiliated. I was a glutton for punishment, it seems. Each time I was hurt, I moved right on to the next source of pain. Whether it was the consequence of someone elses actions or a byproduct of my own, pain seemed to find me even when I was not seeking it. With my focus on pain relief and nothing more, I made one wrong decision after the next until I changed my focus.