Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most

Weve all been there: We know we must talk to a colleague, our boss or event a friend about something we know will be at least uncomfortable and at worst explosive. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through a confrontation when we could have had a conversation. Difficult Conversations is the definitive work on handling these unpleasant exchanges, based on 15 years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project. It teaches us to work through them by understand that were not engaging in one dialogue but three: the what happened conversation (what do we believe was said and done), the feelings conversation (the emotional impact on everyone involved), and the identity conversation (what does this mean for everyones opinion of themselves). In a world where asking for a pay rise, saying no to your boss, asking a favour or apologizing for a mistake can be a horrendous nightmare, Difficult Conversations deserves its position as a business classic.