***A NEW YORK TIMES
An essential exploration of why and how womens sexuality worksbased on groundbreaking research and brain sciencethat will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a pink pill for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never existbut as a result of the research thats gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how womens sexuality works than we ever thought possible, andCome as You Are
explains it all.
The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others experiences. Because women vary, and thats normal.
Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a womans arousal, desire, and orgasm.
Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, buthow you feel about it
. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a womans sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.
And Emily Nagoski can prove it.
'As a literary work, Nagoski's book deserves plaudits for the rare achievement of merging pop science and the sexual self-help genre in prose that's not insufferably twee ... You are normal! doesn't sound much like a battlecry, but in a world keen to sexually homogenise women from the gap of their thighs to the shape of their mons pubis, the sentiment lands like a bomb.' -- Van Badham The Guardian 'Absolutely jam packed with helpful insight into a better sex life. You'll want to tell all your friends immediately.' -- Sophie Holloway Ladies Come First 'Come As You Are screams female empowerment loud and proud.' Independent 'This is the best book I have ever read about sexual desire and why some couples just stop having sex, and what they can do about it. Come as You Are is an absolutely necessary guide for all couples who want to understand the ups and downs in their own sex life. It is a must read!' -- John Gottman, Ph.D. author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work 'Emily Nagoski has written one of the most important books about sex any woman (or anybody else) could ever pick up, full of insights that are both fascinating and deeply useful. Synthesizing new research and theory about sexuality with old-school sex-positive information of the sort you didn't learn in sex ed (unless, perhaps, you are a Unitarian, or Scandinavian, or lucky enough to be in Dr. Nagoski's class), I guarantee Come as You Are will open minds and change lives.' -- Carol Queen, Ph.D. 'Emily Nagoski is worth her weight in TED Talks, and Come as You Are is a master-class in the science of sex.' -- Ian Kerner sex therapist and bestselling author of She Comes First 'Lots of books - and articles and experts - claim to have the keys to transform your sex life. This one actually has it. It isn't as fast as taking a pill, but it will last a whole lot longer. You will find no hot new bedroom moves - it's that deeper-level soul stuff. You know, the stuff that actually works.' Salon 'Wonderful new language to help us articulate to women (and their lovers) what is going on.' Huffington Post 'Like a punch to the gut. When I read the passage that made me realise - after all these years - that I was not actually broken, I began to cry ... I wished [Nagoski] was someone who was actively in my life, someone I could reach out to for grounding every time I momentarily forgot the lessons in her book.' Book Riot '[Nagoski] explains that all the questions she's asked about sex can be condensed into one, Am I normal? Come As You Are is a collection of answers to that question, informed by current science, as well as personal stories. She intends to empower her readers to reach for and achieve [their] own profound and unique sexual potential ... Readable and accessible through a comprehensive index, Come As You Are will help many women concerned about their sexuality.' -- Anna Creer Canberra Times