My name is Bethany Goose, but my friends call me Becky, and I just moved here to the small town of Spoonings to live with my father after my mother married a super rich chiropractor and decided that she totally didn't feel like raising me anymore.... on my 18 birthday... so I'm pretty sad about that and I don't know whether I should just laugh it off or kill myself by jumping of a melancholic bridge of sadness and misery... maybe I could eat lots of cake and get fat but whatever...
So there I was sitting in my new dinning room, in my new house, eating with my new plastic silverware while my dad stared at me like I he wasn't even aware of my existence before this point.
''It's... nice to see you again, dad. What's it been... like two years since we last saw each other?" I made small talk. ''Yeah... ever since that birthday of yours when I caught you making out with the party clown...'' he said awkwardly. ''Ew, dad... that was... I
don't do that anymore... I swear it's over between me and Blinky the Clown.'' I told him. ''Well that's good.'' he said.
''Yeah... he... he just wasn't that much fun anymore after those bullies cut off his eyelids... Blinky wasn't blinky anymore, right?
Heh... eh heh heh.... uh... it's a joke, dad.'' I tried to liven up the place but failed as I sat in awkwardness as my father looked at me
with confusion in his eyes.... and mild hunger. Probably for cheese, he just can't get enough of that stuff, you know?
''So uh, how's school?'' he asked me. ''It's fine. Math... Science... Civil Studies stuff, you know all cool.... yay gay rights and stuff
you know? And... grammar, all A's there." I told him. ''Wow. Math. Grammar. Gay rights. Heh you city folk have weird interests.'' he chuckled. ''Heh heh... yeah! Yeah totally.... right.'' I said in awkward boredom.