Now Listen, Warden

NOW LISTEN, WARDEN BY RAT P. HOLLAND ILLUSTRATED BY WESLEY DENNIS A COUNTRYMAN PRESS BOOK A. S. BARNES COMPANY, NEW YORK This book is dedicated to my many friends throughout the country whose job in life is game protection, and to those other friends who must have a game warden to look after them when they go afield with either rod or gun. CONTENTS FOREWORD TX THE WORLD S BIGGEST LIAR 3 A SMART BOY 7 WHO KILLA DA HAIN I I BEER BOTTLE CAPS I 8 THE BLACKA HAND 24 OPENING DAY 32 A GOODA SPORT 4 MOM S DUCKS 4 6 DON TA COME BACK 52 HUNT DEAD 58 BAILEY S BULL 68 BLOWOUT TONY 78 BOOTS 85 WANTED 96 IDAHO POTATOES 108 CONTEMPT OF COURT 114 PLUME HUNTERS lip THE DYNAMITE DEER 124 FOREWORD T AH . HIS is a book of game warden yarns Some of them are old very old. But then, only good stories live to a ripe old age. Some of these yarns are true, most of them have a foundation of truth. A good story retold seldom loses in the telling. In the early years of game management in this country, the game warden was seldom a man to be looked up to in the community. Rather he was the village loafer who could swing a few votes at election time. He usually liked to hunt and fish, but as an enforcement officer he just didn t rate. Today, in most sections, this has changed. In many states, sportsmen s organizations have divorced game protection from politics and the game protector is a respected citizen who sees to it that the laws are observed and the game is played fairly. FOREWORD I have known all types of game wardens from barflies to the college-trained game-management experts. When the Federal Government took on the job of protecting migratory birds, I was one of the first District Inspectors, with a numberof Western states to look after. Since man knoweth not to the contrary I have been Secretary - Treas urer of the International Association of Game, Fish and Conservation Commissioners. Also, I have held and still hold office in local and national sportsmen s organiza tions. With that background, I believe I have heard more game warden yarns than any man alive. In the annals of game conservation there are many stories filled with drama and suspense. I once arrested the Attorney-General of the state of Missouri and convicted him of shooting ducks in the spring of the year in violation of Federal law. The ramifications of that case would make a book in itself. It s a good yarn, and that arrest resulted in the Supreme Court decision which decided the consti tutionality of the Federal law protecting migratory birds But it is not for this book. Then there was the case of the New York game and poultry dealer who took out a game-breeding license and FOREWORD had his up-state game farm. His trappers caughr birds alive and shipped them to the farm. There they were killed and sent to market. It took some clever detective work to unravel this one. If the poultry dealer hadn t started raising in quantity such wild ducks as canvasbacks, which have never been successfully raised in captivity, he would have done right well. As it was, he paid the largest cash fine in game-law history. But that story doesn t be long in a book of this kind. There was the wealthy fox-hunting club with their red coats and fine horse flesh that rode to hounds twice a week and ate venison between times said venison being killed on order by the flunkies. Of course, the hounds were bothered by the deer, and occasionally theywould leave the fox to chase an old buck, which would spoil the sport. And besides, the deer were good to eat, and who ever heard of eating a fox These boys and girls dug down pretty deep when they paid the piper, but nothing as sordid as that will be told in detail in this volume. Instead, these yarns are retold solely for amusement. Many funny things happen to game wardens. Your war den is a law-enforcement officer, but in the main he is not XI FOREWORD dealing with criminals...