As seen on CNN! You've heard the bonkers rally speeches. You've witnessed the pre-dawn Twitter-storms. Now comes the really scary part...the secret confessions of Donald's brain. It's all here: * How to choose the perfect supermodel wife. (Not too much English, please.) * How to turn the U.S. presidency into a four-year product-placement campaign. (Why be bashful?) * How to tweet like no one's looking. (Even if the whole world is.) * When to quit listening to your closest relatives. (We'll have to get back to you on this one!) Who says you can't out-Trump Trump? If Donald set the standard-really, how hard can it be? By the time we're finished, you'll be palling around with dictators and insulting beloved friends. Your future will be huge-er than you ever imagined. Your hair will defy all gravity-your ego too.