Cruise Crazy The Cruise Addict's Survival Guide

For millions of people every year, a cruise isn’t just a delightful vacation––it’s an obsession. These Cruise Crazies have simply GOT TO BE ON ONE––landlubber jobs and responsibilities be damned. Luckily for their caregivers and traveling companions, there is a new behavioral therapy guide by Dr. Kruz Nutty (a.k.a. Bob Mick), the world’s premier authority on cruise addiction. Through Dr. Nutty’s Cruise Crazy, discover which of the four levels of cruise addiction you have reached and take note of the wacky pre- and post-cruise rituals and obsessive-compulsive symptoms that give cruise addicts away: • Stage 1: Pre-Cruise Psychosis––a happy obsession over choosing the cruise line, ship itinerary, and cabin; hosting cruise-themed parties; planning shipboard and shore-side excursions; and sending endless newsletters to friends about the future cruise • Stage 2: Traumatic Travel Syndrome, where NOTHING will keep Cruise Crazies from getting to the ship on time. Driving at break-neck speed to their port of departure, booking only hotels with harbor views so they can keep an eye on their ship, camping out at the dock days, if not weeks, ahead of time––get out of the way as these Crazies rush onto the ship. • Stage 3: Sea Junky. Here they either subside into lethargic poolside lounging, hibiscus in hair, sipping umbrella-laden ice-cold drinks, and floating peacefully on turquoise waters, or they rev up into a frenzy of shipboard and seaport overindulging, changing from one cunning cruise outfit to the next, overshopping, overeating, overdancing, and overdipping into every port of call with utter abandon. • Stage 4: Severe Ship Separation Anxiety as cruise crazies approach the dreaded end of the cruise, when days of uncontrolled exuberance come to an end. But Dr. Nutty does not abandon his dry-land afflicted Crazies here. Discover his 25-step Cruise Recovery Program with its bathtub buffets and cruise outfit swap meets. Cruise Crazy may be all the laugh therapy––or encouragement––you need. Sample questions from Dr Nutty’s Cruise Crazy Quiz in Chapter 1: How often do you have thoughts about cruises? (a) Occasionally (b) Maybe once a week (c) A lot and then at least every day as my cruise departure date gets closer (d) Non-stop, constantly, it’s all I can think about! When I have troubling falling asleep at night I: (a) Drink a glass of warm milk (b) Read a book (c) Surf the internet for cruise stuff (d) Count cruise ships (like sheep) sailing away into the sun-set Is the price of a cruise important to you? (a) Yes - it must fit within my budget (b) I usually only buy a cruise if it’s on sale (c) It’s very important so that I have more money for another cruise (d) Price? Who cares about the price when I need a fix! Now take the rest of Dr. Nutty's quiz and discover whether you are a Casually Compulsive Cruiser, a Newly Neurotic Cruiser, a Junior Junkie Cruiser, or a Cracked-Up Crazy Cruiser and what Dr. Nutty would prescribe to help you make it to your next cruise adventure.