I am his Obligation and not his Choice

Glimmer GoneThe glimmer of hope that used to burn bright is dying out...I begin to feel less and lessMy heart is finally succumbing to my brain and realizing it's power, it's knowledge, it's truth and it's fait...Which is that it's really over... July 7, 2013 @ 2:31 am(1) Women: stop being afraid of being hurt and open your mouths and hearts. But most important, open your ears and eyes. Speak on your feelings, desires and intentions but don't forget about him and his. (2) Listen to his thoughts, feelings and actions. And though he may not say what you want of hear. Or what you feel he should say..... RESPECT IT! Why? Because its how he feels. (3) Learn to converse more and argue less. Be mindful of your language (physical and verbal) and remember not to be so defensive. Listen to his words with your ears while keeping your mouth closed. Don't half listen by putting your thoughts together while he's speaking. Really hear him and you'll gain the respect you seek. (4) See and realize that in order for there to be a ''WE'' you have to understand me. And understand that ''HE'' is not ''HIM'' from the past. And all of ''THEM'' that people speak about, put down, and/or equate to the ''dog, little boy, cheater, etc.” See ''HIM'' for the man ''HE'' is. (5) Respect, cherish and honor him for who he is then maybe, you'll be able to love him as he should be. (6) And if he's not the ''MAN'' for you.... Don't keep him around to try and change him just to say you have a man. Don't change yourself to be the woman he wants, because you will always revert back to being who you really are. Don't cut him down as you leave. Lift him up always but let him know that this isn't what either of you deserve. A friendship is a blessing. Not all couples are meant to be couples. Some are meant to be lifelong friends. And my advice applies to those relationships as well.Be blessed people. Know your worth. But know who ''YOU'' are first!I wrote these words for my Facebook friends but didn’t live them. I forgot to imply the most important part of this blog to my own self and life. Can you tell me which it is? (6) ''And if he's not the ''MAN'' for you.... Don't keep him around to try and change him just to say you have a man. Don't change yourself to be the woman he wants, because you will always revert back to being who you really are.'' I was trying to change me to honor him because I felt he deserved the woman that I was. Did he deserve me? Yes, every man deserves a woman like me. But…. BUT, if he wasn’t ready to honor, cherish and love a woman like me, when he received a woman like me, then a woman like me should have left until he was ready. He kept telling me that he didn’t deserve me but I was determined to make him realize that he did. Big mistake because I forgot to do what I said in line number (2) ''Listen to his thoughts, feelings and actions. And though he may not say what you want of hear. Or what you feel he should say..... RESPECT IT! Why? Because its how he feels.''I didn’t listen and kept on begging for more….. PAIN that is.I found out I was losing my job and at the same time I was going through changes with my apartment complex. Since I had fallen behind in my rent and paid it consecutively late for 6 month they wanted to take me to court to get a right to evict if I were late again. I was sitting on the couch complaining to him about the state of my life and he said to me, “I was going to wait to tell you, but you can move in here.” I was so happy. Because I had planned to talk to him about that but didn’t know when and how? Everything was turning up roses for me as soon as he said that. I was so happy because I could now move back home with the man I loved and I knew it would make ''HER'' sick with jealousy. What better pick me up than that? And maybe, just maybe she would finally take the hint and leave?I have got to be his Choice now, right?