Take a quick sample of ten men and women. Ask them about the things that are most important to them in their marriages, regardless of their age, race, or educational background. You will discover quickly that:
01. Men like physical features (like the shape and size of a woman, her looks, her height, etc.), while women look towards emotional features (like his sensitivity, his feelings towards her, his sense of humor, how caring he is, etc.)
02. Men request respect and appreciation, while women ask for love and understanding.
03. Men want sex, while women want companionship and communication.
04. Men demand comfort, while women love luxury.
These clearly show that men and women are wired differently. Our needs and requirements in marriages and relationships are different. We need to learn and apply ourselves to these needs before we can care and show love to each other the way our partners want us to.
One of the greatest mistakes most of us make in our relationships is that we tend to follow the golden rule, treating others (our spouses) the way we want to be treated.
We assume that our spouses are just like us and treat them just the way we want to be treated. As great and true as this principle may be, it has limited application when it comes to relationships, especially romantic relationships.
For you to be at your best and meet your spouse's marital needs, you need to take it further and move on to the platinum rule: treat others (your spouse) the way he or she wants to be treated.
Men and women are different in many ways, especially in the ways we feel loved and appreciated. It is not a coincidence that we have various physical differences. In fact, our emotional and mental differences are greater than our physical differences. The word LOVE means different things to us, and it makes us feel in different ways.
Apart from the general differences between men and women, we must also know that each one of us is uniquely different based on our temperaments, experiences, education, value system, and social and religious upbringing. All these come together to form and shape our lives and determine who we are, what we do, and how we feel loved.
We must therefore learn to speak in the language that our spouses understand and appreciate if we want their happiness and marital fulfillment.
The purpose of this book is to educate you on how to show love to your spouse the way he or she wants it and how you too can get your spouse to show love to you the way you want it, so that both of you can live a happy and fulfilled life.
I believe no marriage is ever too far gone to recover provided the people involved are willing to apply the right principles and have the determination to make it work. One of the interesting things you will also discover in this book is that one spouse can actually turn a bad marriage around if given time and dedication. The marriage that is on the rocks can turn out to be like a holiday in the Bahamas. Every marriage has the potential and capacity to be the best marriage in the world. There is nothing called irreconcilable differences; there are only people who are not willing to reconcile and make sacrifices that will make things work. If you love your family and are willing to make it work, the worst marriage in the universe can turn around to become a good example to other marriages.
Love is sweet, love is great. Join me on the journey to discover love the way it's meant to be.