Holding Back the Tears

Based on a true story in Scotland covers Edinburgh to Angus it takes you through the fun of the fair in Kirkcaldy Fife and the country in Angus.It is a heart warming story about a mum who is faced with many mental health issues after the loss of her son who had taken his life.In the early days at the beginning of her loss her mental health spirals out of control.Learning how to face her daily life and learn how to cope with her unwanted negative thoughts brought about by Anxiety and depression and panic attacks.Rosie loses her will to want to live she spends most of her days facing deep darkness locked inside a world of her own with no one to turn to for advice or help.She tries to fight overwhelming emotions alone for many years feeling more and more isolated and lonely.Not knowing which way to turn for help, feelings she would not be missed nor have anything of interest to offer the world she now lived in.Which she soon realized was a family orientated world.Having nothing in common with others around her she became more and more withdrawn from society locking herself away for six years from any social contact with the outside.Not having a care as to what day of the week it was for each day made no difference to her.Somehow she managed to keep her standards up by keeping herself clean and tidy although it took her all day to do so.Often asking herself why did she bother as she never seen anyone anyway.A loner introvert by nature she finds when she moves to live in the country it helps her feel less isolated for she did not wish to be around people.Spending most of her time planting and growing crops in her own backyard.She also had a love of writing and many poetry would pop into her head.She had lost her love for painting it no longer had a meaning in her life.Walking her little dog which she had bought to keep her company and she could cuddle to give her a release from her pent up emotions got her out into the freshair filling her mind with positivity that the world of nature was a beautiful place where her loneliness from lack of people around her soon dispersed into the back ground, leaving her with an more optimistic view of life.The beautiful Scottish hills and the greenery of the area and the different smells opened her heart.Learning many new skills along her Journey of grief from playing an autoharp to learning about Gods creatures big and small, gave her life a brand new meaning.Pleasures she had once lost were flooding back into her life tenfold, no longer did she feel she was missing out on life. She was doing exactly what she wanted to do.The loss of her son gave her new opportunities to aim to give him an memorial service held three yrs after his death.This story begins in Edinburgh ends in Angus talks of the Forth bridge king Arthur seat and much more which people shall recognize,.it is deep dark , light hearted, sad , happy , emotional , joyful, covers every emotion you can ever imagine.as as well know therapy help aids such as Reiki and tapping EFT emotional freedom. I love the memories which are triggered as you read through the story which can bring to others who read this book for it is not all about sadness and doom and gloom it is a Journey through time. Discover your own belief's in after life it touches on many subjects none which are political or judgemental in anyway. It is an open minded reading filled with skills and stories which reach the soul where no one can ever reach unless they can write how they feel down in words which this writer is able to do a skill in itself.. It is a beautiful Scottish story.Bereavement, Healing, Comfort, Sadness, Mental Health.